Welcome back to Free My Cure blog.  One of the questions I get asked the most about is stress.  How does the stress of terminal cancer affect your day to day life?  I think we all have stress issues brought on by a multitude of reasons, however having terminal cancer doesn’t cause the stress to be worse it does have a profound impact on my physical ailments.  Because of Cancer and Chemo, I have suffered medical issues such as Ulcerative Colitis, Interstitial cystitis, Ulcers, C-diff, Gerd, and a compromised immune system, and broken teeth that are very easily irritated by stress.

My personal biggest stress is my employer, that’s the reason for today’s post.  I was told by my boss and HR and I quote “we’re sympathetic to your situation but we don’t believe in cannabis”, yep you got it right they asked me to choose my life or my job.  Well, you can imagine my motivations now to get cannabis legalized.  Big Pharma kills thousands of people every year, leaving the families and friends left behind to pick up the pieces but cannabis helps to rebuild the cells left behind after chemo.  I have personally done 4 rounds of chemo.  1st round was after my youngest son and his stillborn twin was born it lasted 14 weeks.  Round 2 was when I found out that the endometriosis had spread, I went into surgery to have it removed when we found out it was endometrium cancer it lasted 22 weeks.  The 3rd time was endometrial cancer again I know crazy no female organs left and I couldn’t take hormones so menopause here we come it lasted 24 weeks.  The 4th and last treatment was for bladder cancer it lasted 30 weeks, it didn’t reduce the size but it did stop it from growing.

And here we are, 42 years old, that’s 24 years of cancer and illness, the funny part, maybe not so funny just ironic, I NEVER used anything but Big Pharma, no street drugs, I haven’t consumed alcohol in at least 10 years, cut out caffeine and eat mostly healthy and I’ve spent most of my adult life sick, Cancer doesn’t discriminate It loves life as much as we do, it just want’s our lives.  To me cancer isn’t a disease it’s a living creature that crawls through the night to find you sleeping peacefully, it grabs you it holds you tight giving you a false sense of security whispering “I’m here for you” all the while the grip gets tighter and tighter making breathing almost impossible choking for air and wishing this could just be over.

Cancer patients get tired, so tired it makes our hearts hurt literally hurt not because we’re dying but because our family and friends have to pick up the pieces when we’re gone for our kids for all of our loved ones.  So the next time you look into the eyes of a cancer worrier don’t ask how we are it doesn’t change much we’re scared we hurt we’re tired and we just want to take your pain away, instead just offer a hug and say something like I’m so happy your still here.  We then don’t have to lie to you and tell you we’re okay when we aren’t.

 

Fuck Cancer

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