Welcome to my RSO Video Vlog Webisode 39, I’m Alive and I’m Coming #fuckcancer #freetheweed ##freemycure #legalizecannabis #decriminalizecannabis

My name is Nicola Dickens and I am a 4 x cancer patient. I have given up on conventional treatments and now I’m happy, I feel better, I have more energy, and I have a life again. In this journey I’m asking all of you to share, comment, subscribe, and help me, help other patients that need help. Cancer is a hard journey for anyone let alone 4 different journeys for the same person, and up until about 3 years ago or so I thought it was going to be a much shorter journey.

This is dose number 39 and I have taken 74.5 grams of RSO to date. I was diagnosed with terminal bladder cancer. When the Doctors said I was going to die all I thought was “Wanna Bet” and now I’m going to prove them wrong. This video diary is to help any other patient that needs relief from the pain, nausea, depression, and anxiety please share. As my days are getting back to normal and I’m getting more energy I will be adding an exercise program to help build strength.

This has been a great journey so far and I’m happy to say it’s just starting, cannabis is my miracle.  If I lose this battle I still win the fight.  Right now I am more thankful for life than ever, I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

I am the type of person that has to look at all possibilities, I’m afraid to say the cancer is shrinking because I don’t know, I have a positive outlook but I’m still afraid of the unknown.  I have been feeling great, I still have pain and I always will, however, it’s tolerable, I have had energy, creativity (Holly crap I even turned my article into my editor 10 days early and that’s a miracle), and HOPE.  Hope is the biggest thing when you have spent more than a decade fighting for your life hope become translucent.  Hope is still there, however, fades in time until there is a faint shadow and the patient starts to focus on whats hiding behind it.  This is the hardest part of depression when you look at death as an escape or even a friend.

Depression in patients with chronic illnesses become overpowering to the patient, they are so worn down from the treatments that it’s hard sometimes impossible to see past the pain.  Pain can be physical, mental, or emotional all of which are equally debilitating, please remember what a person looks like on the outside isn’t always a good representation of how they actually feel on the inside.  Patients that are chronically have become skilled at hiding their pain on the outside.

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