Welcome back to Free My Cure. My name is Nicola and I am a Terminal Stage 4 cancer patient. I turned to cannabis 4 years ago and I haven’t looked back since. I have improved my quality of life by 10 percent and I don’t plan on stopping here. Join me on the journey to find a cure for my cancer using cannabis!
Today is a special show, I dedicate to my friend Zachary, he is a cancer survivor that has been living with the aftermath of cancer and the loss of his eyesight. I also dedicate this show to my father a man that gave his youth to the Marines to protect our freedoms he passed away from his battle with cancer a few years ago, he fought hard but ultimately took his place in heaven and for every cancer warrior, family, friend, and neighbor that has been affected by cancer this one is for you! We are here together, and together we can spread the word “CANNABIS SAVES!!!”
I woke this morning to read a post on Facebook, a post that crumbled my core because I’ve been here, the post read:
Please Help, I Am broken…
twenty-seven years of being touched by doctors, nurses, needles, and tubes have finally caused me to break. I went to the ER for the issue with the graft and they wanted to put an IV in which wasn’t a problem. I was prepped for this and was expecting it to happen
Now it’s really important to know that I hate and I mean absolutely hate being touched. Usually, for this situation, I can keep it under control but something just snapped in my head.
The nurse sticks the needle in after touching my arms a bunch and the damn thing misses the vein. He starts digging around trying to find it and I tell him to stop digging around, I then burst out crying and curl up into a ball.
A second or two goes by and I go stiff and can’t breathe and my mind fractures. I’ve now just become a psych case and I can’t figure out why I snapped.
As if that’s not bad enough the nurse leaves and brings in another nurse we can clearly hear them in the hall having a good laugh about this. They’re just assuming I’m some mental patient who isn’t on his meds. They don’t grasp my history yet. The new nurse who gets another needle in me but fails. The entire time I’m barely breathing stressed out and tensed up.
IV therapy comes in and takes one look at me and tells them to leave me alone. I’m given a shot of advanc to help calm me down. It doesn’t matter as soon as I’m touched I lose my shit and now I’m so fucking raw.
I want to be hugged and cuddled but at the same time, I can’t even fucking be near anyone. I’m so fucked up right now and in so much physical and mental stress.
What the fuck is happening?
None of these doctors and nurses fully grasped how much touch is stressing me out, they kept holding my hands and rubbing my skin! I kept screaming and trying to pull away but they wouldn’t listen.
I’m in tears as I write this I feel on edge and unable to sleep.
For those of you that have been here, you feel this. These words truly have the ability to steal the breath from your chest, it feels as if an invisible weight has been dropped on you as you gasp for air and the hot tears stream down my face I feel these words. How do you help a patient, when you can’t feel the patients pain? Pain is hard, you can’t see it, you can’t test for it, and pains can come and go based on so many things, age, gender, activities, illnesses, and on and on. As a cancer patient I try to be patient with my medical staff but sometimes it’s really hard, we’re all human and the days are different for everyone, I just ask when working with us please don’t look at us like druggies because we use cannabis. Thank you
You Have Cancer…
You have cancer was the last thing I heard before the earth cracked, you know that sound that rocks you to your core and has you walking through life in fog or at least in your head for a while. The sound that changes your life forever, in disbelief you rationalize all the possibilities of the future.
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 19 and was scared out of my mind. I was to return the following week for a laser ablation surgery and I didn’t really know what to expect, Google hadn’t been born yet. Was I going to have to have chemo? Radiation? Am I going to die? The thoughts kept flying through my head, as I sat in my car alone it hit me I want kids. Can I still have kids? Now I’m on the verge of tears what do I tell my husband, he wants to be a father in the future as well.
The whole car ride home I practiced over and over how I was going to give my husband this news. As I walked through the door and saw my husband standing in front of me I lost it. No hi, how are you, just tears and incoherent rambling, good thing I practiced right. It took me almost 2 hours to tell my husband 12 words “the doctor said I have cervical cancer and have to have surgery”. I lost it several times over the next week.
The day of the procedure I arrived at the surgical facility so nervous I didn’t know if I was going to cry or vomit. They checked me in and walked me back to this little changing room, once I changed I walked through a door on the opposite wall where I saw a small operating room with this funny looking chair and my doctor on the stool next to it.
As I’m sitting in the chair and I frantically start looking around for an escape route, the doctor says “I’m going to use a local anesthetic, you’ll feel a little pinch and some burning, it only lasts a couple seconds and you won’t feel a thing, he was right I didn’t feel a thing after the local anesthetic.
The Doctor used a laser and slowly burned the cancer away. I didn’t feel too much pain during the procedure just pressure, however, there was a slight smell and not one I care to smell again.
As we left the doctor he explained I should be fine to return to normal activates in a day or two. No chemo, No radiation, and no extended sick time. I thought I got this, I beat cancer, I thought. Things went well for awhile until the endometriosis really started giving me a hard time, but it wasn’t the big C so I was happy.
A year later and 4 different hormone therapy’s I had a miscarriage. The doctor admitted me into the hospital immediately and did a DNC. While they had me in the hospital they did every test imaginable, but couldn’t find a cause for the miscarriage. They kept me over night monitored how I was doing and sent me home the next day. A year later we were pregnant again, only this time I was closely monitored, my oldest Son was born January 14, 1997.
A year after my oldest son was born, I fell sick again. I was doubling over in pain, light headed, vomiting, and I collapsed on several occasions to only be revived by paramedics. Once again back to the hospital for observation, only this time my white blood cell count was in the thousands, I had a kidney infection and uncontrollable bleeding I was anemic and couldn’t stand on my own.
My doctor woke me up early the next morning for a DNC, and a biopsy. The procedure normally takes 20 to 30 minute. To quote the doctor “your insides look like they have freckles, and that’s bad.” Endometriosis is basically abnormal cells that spread and attach healthy cells in a women’s body, the cells can only be seen by going in and looking, there is no other test for endometriosis. Endometriosis is very painful, the cause is unknown, and there isn’t a cure per say. Endometriosis was thought to only spread through the abdomen, that information was corrected a couple of years ago and they found through a biopsy of another endometriosis patient and found that it can spread as far as the brain.
I had surgery 2 more times to try to eliminate the pain, my doctor put me on several medications and wanted me to seriously think about a hysterectomy however, we wanted another child. I agreed to wait a year and see how I was doing, then we would discuss another baby.
The year was wishful thinking, we were using birth control, and wouldn’t you know it, 2 months later and we’re pregnant. I dreading make a doctor’s appointment, because I already know he’s was not going to be happy. I think I was more afraid to tell my doctor I was pregnant then I was of my father.
The day of the appointment come and I’m at the doctor’s office in the little room sitting on that cold table, when he walked in and said “Nicola what are we going to do about this?” I just lowered my head and ask “what are my options?” This was the first time I heard of a doctor recommending an abortion. He was afraid I wouldn’t make it through the delivery, and here came the restrictions for the next 9 months.
As the months went by, the doctor saw me every two weeks, we did the ultrasound at 8 weeks and again 13 weeks, however in the third trimester I started cramping and bleeding. My doctor met us at the hospital where they started blood work and every test imaginable. When the tests came back, we were surprised to hear I was pregnant with twins, we couldn’t see one twin because he was laying directly on top of his brother. I lost one of the babies.
We are all staring at each other, when the doctor informs us once again we have a choice. Deliver both babies almost 2 months early or wait and deliver them together, both equally risky to the infant, either way after they were born I had to have a hysterectomy.
After 2 days of discussions between us and the doctors we had a set plan and I could go home. I took it easy for the most part, I still worked and took care of my family and attended night school.
September 17, 1999 my youngest son was born. September 18, 1999 I died on the operating table for 4:23 minutes.
My doctor and family were all around me when I woke up. The only clear words I heard when I was coming out of it, “You have uterine cancer” my doctor informed me and my family.
“Cancer”, I felt I was stronger than cancer, I was no stranger to cancer I beat it once before I can do it again no problem! I was in for a serious surprise.
My first run in with chemo, it taste horrible, it burns, and it kills your taste buds. The first day I was nauseous and really didn’t feel great but as long as it didn’t get worse I could do it. The next morning hits, and so did all the side effects from chemo. Stomach pain, vomiting, headache, shakes, anemia, and loss of balance were all the side effects that continued through the treatment, and even today.
I spent 18 weeks going to chemo twice a week, and I was miserable the entire 18 weeks! At that time Medical Cannabis wasn’t legal and I didn’t have access to the information or to the plant. That was a hard year, my husband helped as much as he could, my mother moved in with us to help me with the kids and the house. I missed my boys, I was isolated from touching them because of chemo, and the postpartum depression hit really hard.
I went into remission May 21, 2001 I remember that day as if it were yesterday I was so happy I cried, I stayed in remission for 5 years.
The summer of 2006 I became very ill again, the pain was really bad. We discovered I had a bladder condition called interstitial cystitis and it was time for more tests. Between the years of 2006 and 2016 I had several surgeries to correct Endometrium cancer.
February 2, 2015 I was admitted into the hospital for pain, bleeding, vomiting, and I could no longer urinate on my own.
“You have bladder cancer” These words rang in my ears, and I just started crying. The Big C, here we go again, only this time cannabis is legal, Google had been born, and I was mad. I didn’t stay in the hospital this time, they put a port in, gave me a cancer buddy and sent me on my way.
I was scared, I was so scared I was afraid to talk to anyone about what I was feeling, I would just shrug it off and tell people I’ve beat cancer before I got this! I started research on cannabis almost immediately and my kids were really pushing me towards cannabis. The more research I did the better it looked and I was ready to try it, but I was scared.
Cannabis has a stigma to it, after all it does alter perceptions, however from my experience cannabis allows for moment of though before you speak. Cannabis slows the thought process allowing the subconscious to filter your thoughts.
I have been working with cannabis for about 5 years now, cultivating, cooking with cannabis, concentrated, and raw flower. I incorporate cannabis infusions in all my cooking now from the leaves to the bud.
The medicinal properties of cannabis are endless from hemp for our manufacturing of clothing, construction materials, paper, biofuel, and plastic composites. Medicinal used for cancer treatment, pain, nausea, headaches, bone problems, and so much more.
STAY FREE, FLY HIGH, AND AS ALWAYS FUCK CANCER!