This was supposed to be a Vista Print Promo Box, so for that, I apologize it ended up being a rationalization on the Medtronic’s implant and I opened up and spoke for the first time about whether or not this implant is actually working.  Remember my next step is bladder removal and I’m really not liking the choices at this point, Medtronic’s calls every 2 days to go over my symptoms so they can see whether it’s working and I have to keep a bladder urine journal that notates the date and time I use the bathroom, the volume I void each time (voiding is peeing), and whether I use a catheter or if I can void anything without the assistance of a catheter.  At this point I use a catheter and haven’t been able to void on my own for several years, I also can feel the bladder spasms every day and before the implant I was counting up to 50 spasms during the waking hours and I since the implant I have had anywhere from 15 to 25 spams a day so that is a drastic decrease.

I have a disease called Interstitial cystitis, with this disease there is no cure but there are a few ways to make life a little more bearable this implant is supposed to help control the bladder allowing me to void without a catheter, fingers crossed I still use a catheter for now, but I am being positive.  I also have a special diet avoiding acidic foods or spicy foods.  Along with watching what I eat I have to stay as hydrated as possible that means I drink up to a half gallon of water every day or more if possible keeping my body fully flushed is extremely important because of IC letting the bladder “have a day off” or not drinking water will cause a flare up.  A flare-up is when the bladder gets these little cysts type things that pop up and cover the inner lining of the bladder causing infections, severe spasms, nausea and vomiting, fevers, hot and cold sweats, severe pain, and bleeding and believe me when I say you don’t want to mess with any animal that bleeds for a week a month a doesn’t die and sadly I’m not talking about the monthly friend every woman is blessed with.

With as much as the diseases I have, it sucks and we all die one day, as for death I’m not afraid I have excepted it will happen one day, not anytime soon thank god but I can honestly say before I started cannabis I prayed for death to come sooner even “joking” when I went to the hospital saying just to send me out back to the firing squad.  Going through cancer treatment IC treatments, UC treatments, plus just opening up my bank account would stress me out to the point of ulcers.  I was on 24 different Big Pharma medications to control all the side effects from the treatments and honestly abused opioids probably in an attempt to subconsciously commit suicide and the depression.

Depression is hell on the entire body, mind, and soul.  Depression is finally starting to get the attention it deserves, when I get depressed I really have a hard time doing my vlogs, writing up my articles, doing the actual weed reviews isn’t really all that special but it’s therapeutic for me, when I first started I didn’t have a clue of what cannabis was going to do to me and when I went to platforms like YouTube were using cannabis recreationally and they were doing full gram challenges falling over drooling and as funny as it was it freaked me out as a medical user, I’m not doing this just for the “high” effects, I’m doing this for life-saving medicine because if cancer didn’t get me the depression almost did.  I didn’t really tell anyone at the time but when I first started cannabis I had a suicide plan.  I was done with the pain, with the pills and the opioids, I was done with life there had to be something better.  Thank God I gave cannabis a full chance, I found a purpose again with cannabis and I started making real videos that show how cannabis really affects the daily user a regular woman that has the same daily struggles as the rest of you.

I do apologize about this rant video but I thank you in the same turn being able to talk this through has been extremely helpful.  When a company want to know how do you feel about having a 2 foot tail for the rest of my life or a bladder bag on my side or down my leg is a worse choice a little improvement is better than no improvement so thank you for listening and helping me work through this very difficult life choice.


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